Usually Friday’s are stress-free because it’s FRIDAY and it’s the end of the week. I am ready to close up the studio and get home for some free flowing champagne and good conversation. Well, this past Friday I was fired by my housekeepers. Yes, you read that right, the couple I hired to clean our house fired ME!!!!!!
Now before you start rolling your eyes and thinking “Housekeepers? Nikol what a luxury” hear me out. I do believe that having a housekeeper is a luxury no doubt but if you look at it from my perspective, this is how I justify it. I could be home cleaning for four hours not making money YES!!!! that is how long it will take me to clean I have timed myself in the past so I could make this point. Or I could be spending four hours at the studio seeing clients, making money and marketing my company. So in the end it makes more sense to be working than to be attempting to clean.
This all changed yesterday when I received this little bad boy of a text message from our housekeepers. I know what you are thinking, I probably went all diva on them demanding to be served champagne while they ran a hot bubble bath for me! I wish!!!!!! Much less dramatic than that, actually there was no drama other than this cryptic text message.
Maybe if it were months ago when my body was in a full hormonal rage from the first three failed IVF cycles, it would have been a total meltdown yesterday but instead I felt relieved and free. I decided to look at this as a positive situation, put the money I was paying the housekeepers each week into paying off IVF bills and research the heck out of “Becoming the Ultimate Housewife.”
I think that experiencing infertility and starting my journey in 2014 first made me feel weak. Month after month of injections and failures was weighing heavy on my mental health. As I begin IVF #5 this week with BCP, I feel like I can conquer the world. I feel stronger than ever, ready to take on little bumps in the road and end this infertility marathon with peace. What’s different? I joined a Bible study called The Armour of God by Priscilla Shirer. I am filling my life with the Word of God, and that is what the difference is. I am calmer, more patient, I don’t have as much anxiety that I did six months ago, and most importantly I am trusting God with my infertility instead of trying to control the outcome myself.
I stumbled upon a blog post from Ultimatehousewife.com, and I had a good laugh on what women were being taught in Home Economics in the 1950’s. Below are a couple of my favorites from the post.
HAVE DINNER READY: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal–on time. This is a way to let him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned with his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home, and having a good meal ready is part of the warm welcome that is needed.
PREPARE YOURSELF: Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you will be refreshed when he arrives. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. Greet him with a smile.
CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up children’s books and toys, papers, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you lift too.
MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
OK WOW, women were Superwoman back then. I am lucky if I can get dinner on the table much less take fifteen minutes to rest to refresh myself lol. Forget about being a little gay and a little more interesting I will leave that to our sweet French bulldog. The last one has to be the best, offer to take off his shoes? I am starting to think that this was more like slavery than a homemaker?
My research pulled up tons of resources from Pinterest to blog posts that guide you through everything a Good Wife is in 2015. You might think I am putting more pressure on myself to “Do it all” but in reality I am taking control of my home and feeling more in control of the “must haves” in my life. Secretly even though I am the worse cleaner in the world, I feel like I can do a better job than the people I hire.
So what’s the big deal? I mean how hard could it possibly be? I like wearing a cute little apron, wearing my pink rubber gloves cuffed with leopard and using organic cleaning products.
I changed up the list from the 1950’s here is my revised list for Housewives in 2015.
- Drink champagne before you attempt to clean the house (this always works for me when I am on the golf course).
- Think loving thoughts of your husband while you sweep, dust and clean.
- Try something from the 70’s with the tagline “Cooks all day while the cooks away” Know the difference between the Crock Pot and a Slow Cooker.
- Find a cleaning schedule that works for you. Don’t try and do the entire house in one morning. Pick a day for the laundry, bathrooms, kitchen, etc. Little bites make it much easier.
- Get a Life Planner and schedule your life!
- Check out 5 Simple Tips to Becoming a Domestic Goddess.
- Create a sexy dance while you vacuum. Be prepared to share this with your husband when you greet him with a cold beverage.
- Read the blog post “The Simple Guide to a Clutter-Free Home.”
Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that it’s going to be smooth “cleaning” through IVF #5, I predict that some of this below might be happening.
All the crazy things that happen to me (remember the question mark on the pregnancy test post?) all become material for my blog post. I hope you girls are hanging in there with your IVF cycles and keeping a sense of humor with all that life throws you because at the end of the day as much as we think we can control the outcome, it’s not up to us.
Keep moving forward you are strong women that could rival any 1950’s housewife.