From my experience, it’s almost impossible to feel you are getting straight honest answers from doctors when it comes to infertility. I admire Dr. Knopman and Dr. Talebian for their very candid approach to giving it to us straight without all the fluff. Today the doctors are featuring three great tips to give you a little pick-me-up. Check out more of their insight on Truly-md.com.
The Best Prescription Your Doctor Has Ever Written: Advice from Two Girls in the Know
Truly-MD.com co-founders, besties & fertility doctors Jaime Knopman, MD and Sheeva Talebian, MD
As doctors, people often ask us for advice, from how frequently do I really need to go the doctor to how do you feel about vaccines. We hear it all. And once we tell people that we are OB/GYN’s who specialize in fertility the questions take on an even different tone—how many times a week do I need to have sex when trying to get pregnant, does position matter and does when I have sex affect if I have a boy or a girl. The list goes on and on. And while we think most of the advice we give is important (truly, we do!) there are 3 pieces of advice that we believe every woman struggling with infertility should hear.
- You are not alone.
Let’s face it infertility can be incredibly isolating. While we ladies love to chat, the negative pregnancy test month after month is not always at the top of our list. However, while your situation may feel unique (particularly when all of your friends seem to stop the pill and wind up pregnant!) there are millions of other women and couples who are struggling with the same issues. They too have seen fertility doctors, have had surgeries, have failed IVF cycles and have considered egg donation and adoption. Hearing what they have to say and how they have dealt with the experience (s) will likely make what you are going through less frightening and make you feel less alienated. And while you may not choose to start a blog, join a Facebook group or start tweeting about infertility, finding someone to talk to, finding someone to “follow” (Not Just Another Beauty Blogger) or a community to join (Truly, MD) will likely make what you are going through a whole lot easier.
- You did not cause this.
Blame is big when it comes to infertility. However, we are here to tell you to “put that finger down.” Nothing you did from the endless Jell-O shots in college to the sleepless nights and gallons of coffee in grad school to the sugary foods around the time of ovulation, to the spin class you took at 6 weeks of pregnancy caused your infertility (or your miscarriage)0. In many cases, we don’t know exactly why a couple is experiencing infertility. However, what we do know is that beating yourself up for everything you have or have not done will not help. Let us (your doctors) treat your infertility. You treat yourself and your partner to some fertility-free time (aka a manicure, a movie or a long walk in the park)—this is just as important!
- You will be a mother.
While this one may be the hardest to believe (especially if you have had a bunch of unsuccessful fertility treatments), there is almost always light at the end of the tunnel. Parenthood can be achieved in many different ways. It can happen naturally; it can happen after an IVF cycle with your own eggs or IVF with donor eggs. It can happen using a surrogate. And last but not least, it can also happen after adoption. And while we totally understand that the journey may take on several unexpected turns, peaks and valleys, if you stay on course you will reach your destination.
Although it is pretty likely that we won’t meet many of you in person or ever write you an actual “prescription” (although we encourage to come and check us out online) we hope that what we have shared will help “heal” you in some way. We offer honest answers to real questions, with many refills!