“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t you’re right.” Henry Ford
My personalized cover of my Erin Condren Life Planner “Believe You Can and You Will” was all I looked at last year through my five IVF cycles. I used this planner to keep everything in my life organized. It turned into more of a journal/scrapbook looking planner. You can watch my video on how I organized my doctor appointments etc. here and here. It gave my cycles life, color, inspiration so when I opened my planner it was exciting and encouraging. You have to find ways in your life to make yourself feel good about going through infertility. There is no time to sit back and let infertility win. I say this because I have been there. I have let the darkness come over me, I have let the depression ruin my days.
There are many days where I sit back and think “Why is this happening?” “Why do I have to go through this?” “Why wasn’t one of my IVF cycles successful?” I can keep asking questions until next years Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale but I won’t. For you, girls interested Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale for cardholders starts this Thursday, July 14th. Speaking of sales with each failed IVF cycle you could find me at a DVF sale doing a little retail therapy.
If you follow me on Instagram, you have seen my recent posts on the new Bible studies that I have picked out. I am enjoying my In The Wait study right now not only because I can relate to the four women that co-authored the study with their stories but because that’s what infertility is a season of waiting. I never really thought of it this way before when I was actively cycling through IVF. I was on a one track mind to make IVF work for us; that’s all I cared about was being able to get through IVF with a healthy pregnancy. I didn’t allow myself, or maybe I didn’t want to allow myself the time to understand that infertility is not a sprint it’s not a marathon it’s a journey.
A verse that recently spoke to me was Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” It’s scary not knowing if we will ever be able to conceive but that can’t stop me from developing. You have a choice when faced with difficult situations or experiences in life. What are you choosing today? Embrace the unknown, let it flow, stop trying to control everything and see where God will take you.
We need to keep in mind that our plan is not the best plan for our lives. As a control freak, I have learned this the hard way. I have tried to control or even force things in my life that I thought were the best for me. Let’s just say the outcome wasn’t positive. I look back on certain things that I felt were the best for me, thought about why I wanted it, what I did to make it happen for my life and then the negative result. I like to recall these experiences, so I don’t continue to think that I am totally in control of my life or that I know the best plan for my life. It’s only with God that my life is on the right track. God is the co-creator of our lives. I am not saying to sit back and do nothing, and God will take over. You have to be proactive, express gratitude, love, fight, work hard, but we must remember that with God all things are possible.
Here is an exercise from a great book that I would encourage you to pick up called Half Full Your Preception Becomes Your Reality! By John J, Murphy. Think of a time when you were set back. Identify a significant challenge or adverse experience you faced. How did you view this experience at the time? How do you view it now? Do you see it any differently? Was this a blessing in disguise? What did you learn from it? Have you learned to use it to your advantage? Has the experience made you stronger? If not, try looking at it a different way. We are not given problems we cannot solve. At a spiritual level, every challenge we face has positive consequences. Do you see them?
I will leave you with this today girls, Believe you can! You might be facing a harsh diagnosis from your first infertility blood work appointment, or you might be with a heavy heart deciding if you should keep cycling or to close the chapter on IVF. Whatever you are dealing with today remember the first quote of this post “Whether you think you can, your you think you can’t you’re right.” Don’t get down on yourself and believe that it’s over Believe in miracles, believe you can get through another IVF cycle, believe YOU are worth it. I designed a bracelet that I wear every day that says the word “Believe” on it, so I see it every second of the day. It keeps me motivated, focused on my goals and happy on the days when believing is the last thing I want to do.
Photography: Rick Gomez Photography