Strange title for a blog post? Maybe, but you will find out why I said this when you watch my video below. OK so let’s back up and recap IVF #3 cycle. Coming off of IVF #2 in March where we didn’t even make it to transfer, I was very nervous to do updates after egg retrieval as I felt that it would jinx the outcome. This IVF #3 cycle was amazing in every way. I responded beautifully to all the stimulation, created 20 follicles, retrieved 10 eggs and was able to transfer 3.
I went back to my original acupuncturist that I had a great relationship with and had been seeing since 2011. I listened to Circle + Bloom during all my treatments and at night to help focus my mind body while cycling. I worked out, I actively wrote in my 5 Minute Journal morning and night. Created positive mantras to repeat in my mind. I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol, took all my vitamins and antioxidants, maca powder, melatonin, got tested for slow reaction food allergies, modified my diet. I seriously could go on and on.
If you are going through IVF or have been through IVF you know first had that this a journey that you are not in control of. Yes, you can do things to help your body flourish but if you want to get down to the real deal God is in charge of what really happens. If you feel different I totally respect that but my perspective and belief is, God has a plan for me and my husband and he has a plan for you. It might not be on our time line but His plan is much bigger and grander than we could ever create. I believe that with my whole heart.
Here is what happened after testing on 10DP5DT. Ohhhhh did I mention that it was a BFN?
On the day of my beta test, I practically ran to Starbucks to get a grande cafe mocha. I haven’t had a drop of caffeine since last year. I normally drink decaf but I felt that this was a special occasion so I would splurge on my craving. I went to my doctor’s office at 8:15am for blood work, knowing that the test would be negative since I tested with my husband the night before. I saw all your comments and looked at the poll I had on my blog post on whether I should test or not. It helped me hold out until the night before. We really wanted to be prepared, I mean…..this is IVF #3, it’s not our first rodeo so knowing and being prepared was key. We didn’t want to feel like we are going to have a huge let down that would take us by surprise.
After my doctor’s appointment I went over to MAC cosmetics to take back my empty cosmetic containers for their “Back to MAC” program. You can recycle your old used products for a new lipstick or lip gloss. You have to have 6 pieces to equal one new lipstick/lip gloss. I love this program because it’s a win-win. I passed by another Starbucks and thought “Who cares, I think I will get another cafe mocha.” I preceded to buy myself another grande cafe mocha forgetting that caffeine equals acting like the nail polish color I had on called “psycho candy.”
The closest store to MAC is Saks Fifth Avenue, I parked my car outside of Saks Fifth Avenue and of course, they have a Louis Vuitton signature store nestled right inside of Saks. I stopped in on my way out and chatted up the store manager Tony on new designs, summer colors, purse charms etc. It was a nice distraction to talk luxury fashion and accessories (my native language) on a day like a negative beta.
I planned on filming in the studio the entire afternoon, I know, I know take it easy, stop working but I didn’t want to cry all day. I needed something that would keep me going and focused. I had a little crying moment when I woke up and then pushed through the day. I knew if I planned on filming that I wouldn’t cry because crying, puffy eyes and filming do not go together. It was a great plan because it worked.
I want to thank all of you beautiful girls from my Instagram feed, YouTube, personal emails to my Facebook page for all your support, well wishes, prayers, love and general interest and care for me and our journey from all over the world. I know each and everyone of you by name. I know your story, your struggles that you share with me, the highs and lows. I am praying for you girls each and every day.
I just want all of you WWC (We Will Conceive) sisters to know that WE WILL CONCEIVE. This is an endurance game, it’s not instantaneous like our new world is. There is no microwave baby making, no “Insta” baby, no drive thru. It’s about trust, faith, determination, endurance, positive thinking and most of all praying. Thank you girls from the bottom of my heart.
Here’s to pushing through with conviction to IVF #4 in August.