It might seem that you never have a sweet day when going through infertility. What’s there to be excited about? When will this long road end? Everyone else has no problem getting pregnant even Janet Jackson at fifty? COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have learned from my journey if you concentrate on negative thoughts that is what you will create, a negative mental environment. It’s incredibly hard to think sweet thoughts, to find the sweetness in IVF, IUI, Injections, failure after failure, RE appointments I get it, but the answer is not to give up or indulge in a negative thought process.
I have created a “Sweet Talk” list to help you out of your negative infertility funk. I have been there one too many times, and it’s a dark hole that is hard to crawl out of. So sit back and enjoy the sweetness.
The “Sweet Talk” Infertility List to Live By:
1. Look at yourself in the mirror each morning and tell yourself that you are a courageous, fierce woman. That’s right shout it out I want to hear you all the way down here in sunny South Florida.
2. Put on a bright lipstick (my favorite is Dollhouse Pink by Wet & Wild $2.19) If you don’t usually wear a bright color just put it on and walk around the house. This simple act of putting on a bright, happy lipstick color will do wonders to your face and your mind. Try smiling also when you look at yourself in the mirror.
3. Personal Mantra’s: Write a personal mantra that you say over and over in your mind or out loud every day. Something to the effect of “I am powerful, I am strong, I WILL get through this.” Concentrating on what you do want in your life and keeping it alive will redirect your mind when it tends to get negative.
4. Turn to God: This is an area in our infertility journey that gets questioned a lot. You can see on my vlog channel when I announced my third IVF beta results I said that it felt like all my prayers were going unheard like I was being left out. God seemed to be listening to everyone else. I felt very alone I questioned why I was doing IVF if I just kept failing. Did God even care? That was June 2015 I knew going into IVF #4 in September that I needed to dig deep and not turn away from my faith. I joined a bible study and found that through spending time in the word and being supported by other Christian women that God was indeed listening to me and speaking to me. I had to get quite and listen to His direction. When you feel that God is not listening to you make time to read His word and listen to what He is saying. At the end of this blog, I have listed the Bible studies that I have completed and that I am working on now to help give you inspiration.
5. Find a therapist. OK so maybe the pillow punching isn’t cutting it for you. I find it interesting that I was never encouraged to seek out a therapist when going through the life changing, mood altering journey of IVF. There is no shame in talking to someone that can help you understand all the emotions tied to infertility and IVF. I am extremely disappointed that we are not being encouraged to address our mental health when we first step into a fertility clinic. Just as important as it is for your body to be healthy enough and pass all the invasive tests to move on to IVF you should have the same care when it comes to your mental health. Find therapists that specialize in infertility on Resolve.org.
Self-care is so important when going through any infertility procedures. I felt so gross, fat, and bloated. You have so many restrictions on what you can eat, not eat that it’s enough to drive you crazy. It’s one big mind game with yourself. On my second IVF cycle, I got to the point where I was OCD about my thoughts. I would get very down on myself if I wasn’t praying hard enough or I wasn’t thinking enough positive thoughts. I was again trying to control the process. When I look back, it amazes me how I thought that I was the one responsible for everything. I was in charge of the sperm being excellent. I was the one in charge of the egg quality; I was the one responsible if I responded well to the infertility drugs and so on. I took on so much responsibility and put so much pressure on myself that I was like having a load of bricks on my shoulders.
TAKE A BREAK AND INDULGE IN SOMETHING SWEET!
Take a break and do something nice for yourself whatever that might be. Book a manicure and pedicure, schedule a coffee date with a girlfriend, take a weekend getaway with your husband. Find the sweet little indulgences that make you feel like yourself. Infertility is a rough road; you are not in control of so many things but the one thing that you are in control of is your mind and your attitude.
Would love to know what makes you happy during your infertility journey. Keep strong girls and remember “This Too Shall Pass.”
Armour of God by Priscilla Shirer
Daniel by Beth Moore
Life Interrupted by Priscilla Shirer