You know how I like to infuse music in my posts so today my inspiration is from Natasha Bedingfield “Unwritten.” Click on the video below so you can get inspired while you read this post.
These past two weeks since I last updated you girls has been really
hard and emotional can’t get out of bed devastating, depressing and hopeless. I was thinking that I would just deal with another failed IVF cycle like I have in the past, brush it off, look forward to the next cycle but this failure was more like a punch in the face. They say your chances get better with each cycle, the US average is three cycles so why would I even think for a second that our third IVF cycle would be another complete failure?
I woke up this morning and clicked on my Pandora app. I needed something to help me get out of bed, inspiration, something……After listening to a little Run-DMC to Candlebox, “Unwritten” came on. This is it! My story is still unwritten, and only I can write my story.
So what does that mean? I have been writing my story (as in actively pursuing infertility treatments) since February 2014. My story is not going in the direction that I want it to go so I am changing it up.
My husband and I decided that we should pursue getting a second opinion. It only makes sense that if what we have been doing is not working then we need to “Live Your Life with Arms Wide Open” like the song says with our IVF journey. That means get a second opinion, create options, see your journey from a different angle. As you all know from my videos, I absolutely love my RE, staff, office and my past IUI and IVF experiences there. Sometimes you have to step outside your comfort zone and see what’s out there to know and believe in your heart that you are doing and trying everything possible to make having a baby a reality.
It’s not everyday you find a pink pencil with the words “Carpe diem” embossed on it. I felt like this pencil was speaking to me. What really does “Carpe diem” mean? How does it relate to my infertility journey? It’s probably the most powerful phrase you could use if you are going through infertility treatments.
“Gather ye rosebuds while he may.” the Latin term for that sentiment is “Carpe diem.” meaning “Seize the day.” Robin Williams says it best in the movie “Dead Poets Society.” I have the infamous scene below of Robin teaching his class the importance of carpe diem.
Maybe you can relate to this idea maybe not, but if you let your fear control your infertility journey, you will never seize the day. You will go on month after month, floundering around being frustrated and losing time.
We all know that time is not on our side. You are either going to jump in and freaking “Carpe diem” your infertility journey (was that harsh?) or you are just going to wonder what could of happened if you opened up your world to ALL the possibilities. I can tell you from my personal experience that infertility does kick your butt. I am not willing to just sit back and take all these punches cycle after cycle without punching back.
Today I am unwritten, this is where my book begins.